Frogs, Snails & Intestines: A French Food Immersion

I’m sitting at the table of an upscale Brasserie in Paris, a crisp white napkin draped over my legs. I have my best black dress on and my nicest plum lipstick – trying to harmonise with the elegant restaurant décor.

As people often do in places like this, I am adopting my finest posture and trying my best to appear fittingly demure. But as the waistcoat-clad waiters place our meals atop the snow-white tablecloth, it is difficult to suppress my inner child.

I want to pull dramatic faces and make repulsive gagging sounds. Looking around at my friends’ alarmed glances, I can tell they want to do the same.

It’s the spine of the frog, chopped right in the middle of its torso, that’s making my stomach churn. A stack of tiny brownish bones attached to pale plump thighs.

We hesitantly reach out our hands and select an amphibian. The taste morphs between chicken and fish, but in reality, it’s a flavour that is completely unique.

All I know is that the skeletal morsels are far too animal-like for me to fully enjoy, so I let a friend with a stronger stomach clean up the plate.

Unbeknownst to me, across the table, my partner is struggling a lot more than I. Craving a hearty meal, he’d ordered a Chitterling Sausage. Expecting something familiar and unsurprising, he was appalled when a slice revealed twisting raw intestines snaked inside the sausage casing. One bite almost ruined the sophistication of the entire night.

His face flushed bright red, and with the waiters snickering in the background, a stifled cough came desperately close to being something far more repulsive. A moment of silence ensued… then he confidently announced that he was no longer hungry.

Somehow, our night out at the lavish French restaurant was salvaged by the plate of snails that appeared on our table. Though I may have been allured by the luscious pool of garlic sauce camouflaging the true essence of the delicacy, I’ll forever daydream about the chewy, meaty goodness of escargot.

Mastering the art of the tongs and snail fork, we swiftly devoured the plate. No longer a pack of juvenile and foolish tourists, we decided we could leave the restaurant with our dignity intact.